Lately, I have been thinking about the best way to silence a screaming hormonal teenager. I have been trying to think of something humane and effective. I think I have the right solution. A tranquilizer gun. Yeah, you heard me. Just like the one's used in Mutual of Omaha's Wild Kingdom.
Mutual of Omaha's Wild Kingdom was the first true reality television. Today, I can imagine Marlin Perkins's saying "Watch Jim as he silently approaches the raging, hormonal teen. Jim assumes his position around the corner from the teen and sits quietly at the edge of the kitchen. Jim takes aim, carefully observing the wild, screaming, teenager. BANG! The teenager goes down and the kitchen falls silent. Remember, ladies and gentlemen, the animal is just tranquilized. While he or she may seem to be dead, the teen is just sleeping. Jim invites the parents to sit down and join him for a quiet evening at home. But they have to hurry because the tranquilizer will be wearing off soon and the raging teen will awaken.
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