Patients Say the Funniest Things!

Here are a couple of excerpts from conversations with real patients. One never knows what a patient will say or do for that matter.

A few years back, I spent several weeks getting a patient to 20/20 with her contact lenses. She was your typical over forty patient who could not see up close. On top of that she had a lot of astigmatism. And she wanted to see like a twenty year old again. This type of patient can be tough to get fit in contact lenses if not impossible. After several weeks of trying different contacts, I finally got her fit into lenses that made her what we in the business call 20/happy. At the end of the check up I said, "You've certainly not been easy." She responded, "Well, I know a few guys who will disagree with you on that front."

Recently, I walked into the exam room and a patient told me how she was seeing little black things in her vision. She said the black spots were constant and were shaped like little spermatozoa. I said, "We are going to have to dilate you and take a look at your eyes. This could be a problem. I don't want you seeing those types of things in your eyes." She responded, "At least not this weekend, my husband is out of town."

Here is another one. "Mrs. Smith, your son has a chlamydial infection in his eyes. This is a sexually transmitted disease. We are going to have to treat his eyes and have him see his primary care doctor for testing." Mrs. Smith then responds, "Doctor, junior is a roofer. He has been up on those hot roofs all summer. Do you think that has caused this infection?"