How Do You Like Your Bird?

No, I'm not talking Thanksgiving. I'm definitely not talking turkey. I'm talking the finger. And not just any finger, the middle finger. Today, I inadvertently pulled out in front of a gray headed man in a little blue Volvo. As he swerved past me, he proceeded to flip me off. As we pulled up to the next stop light, I thought of the many ways I could respond. I held back all the obscenities that were spinning through my head as I chuckled to myself thinking this guy must really have a bad temper or maybe he is having a bad day. I then pulled out my right hand and gave him my universal sign. You know, the "peace sign". It's the way I like my bird. Two fingers extended in a "V". I love it. How else is one to communicate while driving recklessly through the streets of middle Tennessee.

I find the sign quite useful. The other day, a young lady cut me off in traffic. As our cars stopped at the next light, I saw her politely mouth, "I'm sorry." I kindly gave her the sign. No, not the finger...the fingerS. The peace sign that is. In church every Sunday, we greet those around us with "Peace be with you" or "The peace of Christ". As it is with many teens, my daughter sits on the very back row on most Sundays. Since some Sundays, I am not near the back row, I like to find her during this greeting. I like to make eye contact and smile and flash her the peace sign in church. It's my way of passing it on.

I know some of my readers are going to have flashbacks to the sixties and the peace symbol on the back of the Volkswagen vans. The days when a hippie might sound a little stoned and give you the peace sign as a statement against the Vietnam war and for a little world peace. Well, I hate to admit it but those stoners of the sixties were on to something, something more than a little LSD and grass. They knew what I know today and that is the fact that we could all use a little peace...especially that gray haired old guy in that blue Volvo.

Happy What...Fall Festival???

I remember the days when my youth group at the First Presbyterian Church in West Memphis, Arkansas would have a haunted house for Halloween. Every year, fellowship hall would be transformed into a scary dungeon. It was always fun and we always had a good time. I'm not sure as a child or teenager that I ever thought of this act as being bad for me or somehow wrong. Today, many churches and organizations continue to perform "Halloween Parties" under different names such as "Fall Festivals". I am not sure that a name really makes a difference in all of these functions. Call it what you want but it is really a "Halloween Party". So in advance of next week, I would like to say, "Happy Halloween" whether you like it or not.

He Made A Life Out Of Giving

Max G. Haynes, M.D. passed away last week. He was a pediatrician in Blytheville, Arkansas. I became acquainted with Dr. Haynes while he was practicing pediatrics in my hometown of West Memphis, Arkansas. I was asked to speak at his funeral and below are my remarks. His healing touch will be missed my many in Eastern Arkansas.

My first encounter with Max G. Haynes came in 1978 at the age of fourteen. My mother took me to his pediatric office in West Memphis, Arkansas because of an illness. His diagnosis, bilateral pneumonia. He was concerned about the severity, but realized that we had no medical insurance at the time. Rather than put me in the hospital, he offered to let me be treated at home so long as my mother and I followed his treatment. It was then and there, that I met Max G. Haynes, M.D., the kind doctor with a gentle heart.

In the summer of 1979, I was getting ready to be a sophomore in high school. I was working at a local car wash, when Max came in to clean his new car. We talked a little and he remembered me as a patient. I shared my interest in medicine as I cleaned out his car. A few days later, I received a phone call from Max saying that his office had a position available filing records and performing other duties. He asked if I would be interested in working part time. Since I had an interest in medicine, I eagerly went to work with Dr. Haynes at Pediatric Associates in West Memphis. This is where I first encountered, Dr. Max G. Haynes, the employer. A fair minded, caring boss, who was always interested in what was going on in the lives of the employees around him.

I worked at Pediatric Associates throughout high school and four years of college. It was during this time that I got to know Max G. Haynes, the friend. The friend who would sit and talk of his experiences in the Air Force as well as two tours as a doctor in Vietnam. A friend who would share details of his medical training at the University of Arkansas medical school. The friend who would share his experiences as a professor at the University of Arkansas med school working in hematology. Max G. Haynes was a friend who always had good advice and a kind word no matter what I was going through.

Throughout the years our friendship continued to grow. I would go on fishing trips with Max and from time to time he would ask me to travel to Blytheville. The purpose of these trips was to help with various tasks around his mother's home. We would build a shed, paint, and on other occasions, we would merely spend time with his mother, brothers, sisters, nieces, and nephews. Mama Haynes, as his mother was so affectionately known, was an elderly lady, who had raised several children and influenced many. She was known for her southern cooking and her generous heart. It was there in the house of Mama Haynes, that I became acquainted with Max G. Haynes, the family man. A giving man who told me that he knew his mother was not going to be around forever, so he wanted to spend as much time with her and do as much for her as possible.

Max would go on to take in foster children, help others through college, and work with exchange students throughout his life. It was during the early 80's when he decided to adopt one of these foster children, Alex, to be his son. In the early eighties, it was tough for a single man to adopt a child. I remember, Max telling in great detail of the interviews, questioning, and background checks he had to go through to adopt Alex. Those of us who knew Max, knew that he would be a good father. Many of us had already experienced his generosity and kindness. Time and time again, we had been first hand recipients of his fatherly love. In the end, Max prevailed and he adopted a son.

The late tennis star Arthur Ashe, said "From what we get, we can make a living; what we give, however, makes a life." This one saying, perhaps, sums up the life of Max G. Haynes…the doctor, the employer, the family man, the father, and Max G. Haynes, the friend. The friend who made a life out of giving.

Wine and Beer at Starbucks...Will It Be In A Cup?

Starbucks is going to take a shot at selling wine and beer. I have to admit that I am intrigued by this. On a recent trip to Paris and Rome, I could not help but observe that the coffee shops all sold wine and beer. Most sold lunches and some of the most delightful desserts on the planet. I could not help but wonder if and when American shops would follow. I love the taste of coffee that has not been tainted by a paper cup and desserts on glass plates.

It's official Starbucks is now getting in on the beer and wine business. I am, however, skeptical that it will succeed. Not because the good people of America don't want alcohol at our coffee shops. In other countries, coffee shops still serve the customer. Waiters and waitresses bring your order to your table and actually converse with you, the customer. In other countries, they serve the coffees in glass cups and give you a good old fashioned glass plate with your lunch or dessert. You will not find paper cups to taint the coffee taste or desserts in a little sack with a napkin like in America. Beers and wines are served in a glass as well.

While I am sure Starbucks has good intentions with this experiment, I can not help but wonder if they will serve the beer in a bottle or better yet, a plastic cup. As I sit at some Starbucks in the near future, I can almost hear my name being called now, "Garry" "Cup of Cabernet" as I walk to the counter to pick up red wine in a plastic cup with my name scribbled on the side. And just like that, Americans will begin their love affair with wine that has a plastic cup taste just like we have fallen for all those coffees that taste like paper cups.

Black Gold and Texas Tea!

Black Gold and Texas Tea made ole Jed a millionaire. Today it is destroying the ecosystem, the coastal economy, and the way of life for many. It is sad to see the destruction this whole mess is making in the U.S.

I hear the blame game going around. I've heard names like Bush, Obama, BP, and Transocean. Perhaps the most ludicrous is blaming you and me for using oil. I have heard that we should not criticize Bush or Obama until we take a look at how much oil we are using. Well, I admit it. I use oil. I don't use as much as I use to since I got rid of my gas guzzling SUV but I do use it as does everyone else in this country. We should definitely use less and find other energy alternatives to take us into the future. But blaming the consumer on the problem is just plain silly. When drug companies push a drug to market and all of a sudden complications arise and the drug is recalled. I do not hear anyone blaming the person who took the drug. In fact, they get some silk stocking law firm to sue the pants off of the drug company. So why does our use of oil make this any different. It does not matter whether I use one gallon of oil or a thousand, it is the responsibility of the oil companies to provide that to me safely and effectively.

Blaming presidents is easy as well. George W. Bush and Barack Obama supported offshore drilling. They have both received more than their fair share of criticism in this regard. George H.W. Bush and Bill Clinton opposed offshore drilling out of fear that just this scenario would happen. I long for the days of sensible politicians who will stand up to the "Drill Baby Drill" mentality until we can come up with a way to safely extract oil from the gulf. We have the oil, we need the oil, but we need to get it safely.

As for the response by BP and the government, I find it appalling. This I can blame on Barack Obama just as I blamed the response to Katrina on George W. Bush. They are two separate events but the lack of presidential leadership is very similar in both cases.

I am afraid that the people of the gulf coast may indeed hear the kinfolks say "move away from there" but it won't be because of "swimming pools and movie stars".

If Healthcare Passes, I'm Going To...Well, Uh, Stay Here And Do What I Love

Rush Limbaugh has said he is going to leave America and go to Costa Rica for healthcare should the U.S. pass healthcare reform. Click here.

Well, go right ahead. I'm sick and tired of everyone talking about where they are going if one thing or another happens in the U.S. I heard people say they were going to leave the U.S. if Barack Obama got elected. And, guess what? They are still here. I hear all these old docs say they will just retire if healthcare reform is passed. Well, guess what? Most of them won't.

I say, "Let em retire, let em go to other countries, and let em follow through on their threats." I am too young and enjoy what I do way too much to quit being a healthcare provider. And unless I am going to Brazil for mid rif liposuction, calf inserts, and pec reconstruction, I will be staying in the good ole U. S. of A. for all my routine medical care. While I have my doubts about healthcare reform and how we are going to pay for it, I have no doubt that America is a place where doctors will continue to care for their patients no matter what comes out of this debate. Why, you ask, because caring for patients is what we do!

When Was The Last Time You Had Your Eyes Checked?

No, I don't mean checked with that little machine that they use at the elementary schools or the chart at the end of the hall in the office of the local pediatrician or internist. I am talking about a full fledged eye exam. Everyone knows we should have our teeth cleaned and checked every six months. Most of us know we should get a physical every year even if we don't. But how many of you know you should have your eyes checked annually?

Living Life the Brazilian Way

Recently, I had the pleasure of traveling to the city of Porto Alegre in Brazil with my best friend who happens to be from there. When I returned home, I proceeded with excitement to tell anyone who would listen the tales of my travels.

What intrigued me most was the differences between our countries and our cultures. Here are a few of my observations.

First, the cars were small much like the ones we all owned in the seventies. No gas guzzling SUV's. One day we traveled nearly 200 miles and the gas guage in our very small car barely moved. The biggest vehicle I was in all week was a Honda CRV. The largest vehicle seen was a Toyota 4 Runner. People had a choice of gas, ethanol, and natural gas for their vehicles depending on the model of their vehicle. And when one goes to fill up their tank, there is an attendant at every pump to fill er up as we use to say in the south. They take full service to another level.

Second, service at restaurants is second to none. Whether one is at a restaurant or in the mall, the people of Brazil take service to another level compared to the U.S.A. Even in the mall, they bring the fast food to you on glass plates and give you glass cups when you order coffee. None of the paper cups that we are so addicted to at Starbucks.

Third, is the people of Brazil enjoy life. They have a saying, "If you want to make money, go to the U.S., if you want to live life, stay in Brazil." I think they may be right. The people of Brazil were as friendly as anyone I have met in my travels to Costa Rica, France, Italy or anywhere in the United States. The people seem to enjoy and value fellowship and friendship in a different way from the way we do in America. Don't get me wrong. I love the U.S.A. but the sense of hospitality and inclusiveness felt in Brazil is second to none here in the states. I think they may be on to something and the saying may just be true.

The Bar B Q is awesome. Meat, meat, and more meat. All cooked on churrasco grills which cook the meat over wood coals but heat the meat as if in an oven. The taste is very different than here and the seasoning consists primarily of salt.

The worst part of Brazil is the divide. The great divide between the haves and the have nots. Don't get me wrong. The poor in the United States enjoy many things and take for granted a lot of things that come with being middle class in Brazil. Many of the poor in the U.S. have cars, air conditioning, and several tvs in their homes. Many of the middle class in Brazil have one car, no air conditioning, and no hot water. But the poor in Brazil are very poor compared to the U.S. Many live in shacks and conditions which would be unacceptable to anyone in the United States.

When visiting other countries and cultures, I have learned one thing. You can either complain about the difference between the U.S. and other cultures or you can embrace the differences and enjoy them. I have always chose the latter.

While expressing what I viewed as the differences between Brazil and America, someone said, "Wow, Brazil must make you really appreciate all that you have here in America." I paused and thought for a second, and then responded, "No, it makes me realize that a lot of the things we have and love here in America, we really don't need."

TOURIST SEASON IS HERE!

The beaches may be empty but the gyms are full. It's the time of year better known as "Tourist Season" at fitness clubs and YMCA's. It happens every year on January 2nd and lasts until around February 28th. Fitness clubs across America fill up with people getting a start on their New Year's resolution to lose weight or become more fit.

It is always funny to watch people as they rush to the cardio machines. A few of them will head to the weight machines. That leaves free weights and kettlebells to the year round obsessive compulsive exercisers like me. I always love listening to the excitement in their voices as they talk about the latest diet craze. There has been Atkins, Body for Life, Weight Watchers, Nutrisystem, Jenny Craig, and this years latest fad, P90X. Thousands if not millions of dollars are spent on books, food, gym memberships, and excercise equipment. Trust me treadmills and Nordictracks sound good when your in the store. In two months, they will be collecting dust like any other piece of furniture in your house. And all these food systems seem great, but can not replace healthy eating. Besides have you ever tasted some of that garbage?

I love listening to the experts who appear in the gym during tourist season. It's not uncommon to hear, "I'm not interested in bulking up so I am only doing cardio." As if someone is going to lift weights for two months in January and February and suddenly transform into the "Incredible Hulk". Doesn't happen! The other thing you hear is you have to lift heavy weights to get big and build mass. Well, my theory is you have to be big to lift heavy weights.

So if this is your first time to experience tourist season or if this is your annual two month treck to the gym, stick around this year. You just might be glad you did.